Day 14: My National Conference Exploits..

 Everyday at the conference comes with its drama. Yesterday (Thursday 10th April, 2014) was no exception.

Votes and proceedings were read and adopted and the 3-minute marathon continued..

The Chairman in his wisdom did not allow any disturber to disturb the proceedings as he made sure that no unnecessary point of orders were taken..

A delegate brought a pack of toothpick into the house saying "this toothpick was imported all the way from China. With all the bamboo trees in Nigeria, we still import toothpick?!"

“So long as the present architecture of government remains intact with the prevailing political culture, the meltdown of Nigeria in the days ahead is almost inevitable. If the voice of the youth is needed – the voice of the future, we will design a paradigm shift in this conference to focus on bridging the gap in our foundation.” - Ms. Mosunmola Umoru, a youth delegate lamented.

An elder-statesman had this to say: "All the uprisings we have seen from Niger Delta to the far East are products of corruption. How do you explain a situation where a Nigerian public officer will be sleeping on a mattress of money? Money meant for pensioners. Money that has been contributed by people either in billions. There must be something wrong. We need to conduct medical test on some of these people to see whether they are humans or see why the punitive accumulation is in them.”

A delegate from Borno state said the following prayer "God touch the hearts of corrupt Nigerians to return our looted monies, and if they fail, destroy them. God all those who stole our money and built mansions, let thunder, fire and earthquake destroy those houses". I didn't hear much Amens though. But apparently not the first time in the history of Nigeria "Amen" not said at the end of prayers, as religious as we are!

He also lamented about the secutity situation in the North East “the person who in Borno was the root cause of illiteracy was even saying that he do not care about what the media would write about his administration because over 50% of the people of the state could neither read nor write, bought private jets and planes worth millions of dollars". Sigh!

He also said the President should not worry about criticism and focus on his job because he will be criticized anyway.

A paper on the memorandum on the security challenges in Borno and Yobe states was shared to all delegates among other papers.

Hah! A delegate made a speech with each sentence ending with “only in Nigeria”. (Like a rhythm right?) Everything negative he said ended with “only in Nigeria”, "they steal our money...only in Nigeria”. When the bell rang indicating his 3 minutes was over, he didn’t stop, he continued talking and the Chairman said his rhythm to him too “Only in Nigeria”. Funny!

This was immediately before lunch. So during our lunchtime, most delegate were already making jest of the phrase, replying "Only in Nigeria" to any question deserving & undeserving and it became like a trend some sort of - reminded me of "Oga at the top" and "Go and Die"

Ok, I admired the speech of a Royal father from the south. His depth of foresight and calmness was awesome, he spoke about everythging in Nigeria belonging to all Nigerians. "Every resources in Nigeria is for all Nigerians". 

Some delegates frowned at that speech though - with the expression; "what the hell is this man saying" written all over their faces… Well, you can't please everyone tho.

The deputy Chairman presided over the evening session.

At some minutes after 5pm we came to an end of the 3 minutes marathon which started since March 24th. March 24th - 10th April. What a race! ....

We had to all give ourselves a resounding round of applause and it reminded me of my good old school days.

After the plenary session was adjourned till Monday, yes! Monday because no session on Fridays, the deputy Chairman said we should hang around, that the secretariat had something to give all the delegates. 

Names were called one after the other - I actually thought it was our committee classification or something important until my name was called and I collected it. It was an envelope and therein was a green card. Lo and behold, it is a card from President Jonathan wishing delegates a Happy Easter celebration.

If only wishes were horses... I would have wished Mr President sent those cards to the People that deserve it the most - the people of Borno, Yobe, Adamawa, Benue, Zamfara and other sates washed with sorrow and sadness, they need happiness than this display of concern over the distinguished delegates, who sleep under air conditioned room, play scrabble and know no fear or sorrow.

...so don't expect beggars to ride on horse.

Well, See you on Monday...

On Twitter: @Yadomah.....