Day 4: My National Conference Exploits

Alright yesterday (24th March 2014) started a little scary.

I woke up unconsciously concious, haven dreamt that there was something burning inside my cupboard, when I woke up - really there was something burning, not in my cupboard though but the electric extension wire in my room has actually began melting. Well that really dampened my mood for almost the whole day.

I left home at about 9am started the long journey to the venue of the national conference. 20 minutes to the time of the commencement of the conference which is scheduled to start at 10 am, I met a really mad traffic just close to the entrance of the venue. It took me 40 minutes to reach the gate of the venue- well service to nation has its cost.

On reaching the venue of the conference, there were parking spaces for elder statesmen and the other big men, as for we the other delegates, our parking space is some Kilometres away from the venue - what will poor man do?. After trekking miles from the parking lot to the venue, I was almost out of breath, then a long queue greeted me - "from vehicle queue to human queue" I wondered. I slowly and slowly made my way into the venue, some 40 minutes late all thanks to human and vehicle traffic.

On entering the hall, I was relieved that the proceedings were not fully started.

Then the matter of the day.

We spent the whole day delebrating on amending the procedures of the National conference 2014 shared to us.

Matters such as the traffic and congestion on the way to the venue of the national conference were deliberated on.

A particular place of interest that rose uproar was the issue of the use of three quarter majority of the house to decide on proposed decisions. Some were of the opinion that it should be two third because three fourth is unattainable. The chairman had to drop the matter to a later time for deliberation because a consensus was unable to be reached.

Another issue that provoked some of the members - delegates, was the recognition of some of the delegates by the chairman of the conference by their names, while the unknowns - poor we, are not dully recognised.

And another thing is that me and my fellow youths have to shout on top of their voices to be heard or seen.

The issue of break time which is 2pm-4pm was deliberated on extensively. "Some of the elders were of the view that the break time should be reduced by at least one hour for some may run back home, or sleep off after a meal and skip the afternoon session. A youth countered by saying "if they can't keep up, they should go back home and allow the young energetic blood to carry on.

At 2pm we went for lunch break, we were offered variety of meal to dine.

So many recommendations and solutions were reached on the issue of the procedures of the conference.

At 6:05 the session was adjourned till the following day.

I wrote this yesterday but I slept off in the middle of it so I adjourned publishing it till today.

Delebrating on General issues concerning Nigeria and Nigerians hasn't stared yet, still on issues concerning conference and delegates.

There's always another way..

As a delegate to the National Conference - the youngest of them all, i am humbled to be part of the process of making my country better, I am willing to make modest sacrifices so that my generation and generation yet unborn can live in better country.

The Federal Government has rationalized that delegates should be paid sitting allowances, in all honesty I am modestly comfortable and able to cater for my immediate needs. Some of my colleagues have indicated their intention not to receive the money which in itself is a pointer to the fact that we still have men and women with high redeeming qualities among us. However, I am not unmindful of the appalling poverty and great need that exists where I come from and the people I represent. We have a situation where widows and orphans have been abandoned by society, these are individuals made vulnerable by the insurgency. They have no idea how to pay the school fees of their children and wards, and how to eat at least once a day. We have a scenario where things we take for granted mean the world to others -physically challenged people who will never be able to afford wheel chairs and thousands of people who can't afford medical care because they are poor and have been injured by terrorists. I want them to consider my sitting allowance as a gift to them and humanity.

 
I do not do this for praise nor to look good in the eyes of the society, I am doing this because it is the right thing to do. I have received my first payment which is the sum of 1,460,000 naira yesterday evening (21st March 2014) from the National Conference. I hereby pledge to use my allowances as a seed grant and start a foundation that will cater for vulnerable women especially widows and children in Borno State, if you understand their hopeless and helpless state in Borno State and Northern Nigeria in general you will support me in this new drive to put a smile on their faces.

On Twitter: @Yadomah
 

Day 2: My National Conference Exploits.....

So today or was it yesterday? (18th March 2014) day two (2) of the National Conference, ended well? Or not? I can't say but it was a day full of activities.

There was a question and answer session by delegates. Someone said "some of the people delebrating on the problems of Nigeria at the National Conference are part of Nigeria's problem".

Another countered "We are the problem and also the solution" Is it that someone picked his sub by the forgone speaker?

Another protested on the use of Islamic citation by the chairman of the National Conference before reading out his speech.

Some aired their reservation especially with the seating arrangement - because of our cultures and respect for the elderly, a young person can't instruct an elderly man/woman to stand up he/she wants to step out and resolve some pressing issues and so on.

Then there was sharing of trolley boxes. Names were called one after the other, everyone stepped down and collected his, therein were six (6) working books for perusal and study.

So I walked out of the hall where boxes were shared and went to the secretariat to get a form to fill. I collected the form from an official, and started filling, then a drama began right in front of me without paying for a cinema fee.

A man was standing by the door, another came in with a box trolley - it resembled the one we were given books in.

One of the officials asked the man that strolled in with the trolley "where did you say you were representing sir"? "Nigerians in the diaspora" the man with the trolley replied, "which continent" the official demanded? "Europe" said the man. "Can I see your passport sir"? because the man standing by the door shares same name with you and he is representing Nigerians in America", the man with the box said with a laughter "O I am glad to see someone I share the same name with, I thought my name is rare"

"My name America, my name UK" interesting said trolley carrying man.

So basically the two guys were claiming one slot. Both of them were obviously above 40 years.

He presented his passport after much fumbling saying "I cannot impersonate anyone you know"?

Well I was not filling form again o.

The official glanced at the mans passport, it looked very new, no page was stamped, he - official instructed the man standing by the door to present his (passport), he did, his was fully stamped.

Now this became interesting, the man with trolley was asked to present his indifinate residence permit, he said he doesn't join the two together - his passport and other papers, saying he left it at the hotel he lodged, the official told him to sit, he said, "no let me go and come back later by then this thing is sorted out".

The lead actor disappeared from the scene of the movie.

I am still pained by that.

So you know the National conference was adjourned till Monday right?

See you on Monday.

On Twitter: @Yadomah

Day 1: My National Conference Exploits

Today (17th March 2014) was the first day of the national conference. Delegates were inaugurated

I arrived at the venue of the event around 2 PM. Upon arriving at the gate, I saw vans of armed police men stationed at the front gate, and I was like "wow this country".

I got into the reception where delegates are to be accredited. First i had to go and get checked and see if my name was on their system by showing my ID, then proceeded to a room where I was captured for my tag. I was told my tag will be ready in 10 minutes, I walked out of the room and waited for my tag. I got my tag at the said time.

We -delegates, left the reception and proceeded to the venue of the inauguration, you must have heard what happened to me at the entrance. A man (guard) in a fine suit stopped me, with a straigh face he asked "Are you a guest" I said "No", he asked, press? I said "NO". He then quickly glanced at my tag dangling on my neck, and started, "sorry ma, youngest delegate".

I felt out of place, like I do not belong here. I felt like it's a gathering for the elderly and not for the young.

I walked passed him, went found a seat and sat. Waiting for me were three (3) books on the arm rest, one; on the programme of event and the other two on the national conference and centenary.

There were free seats on both sides of me some women sat, one of them asked " Are you from national youth council"? I said no! What group are you representing? I told her youth and other youth organisation. The pank hit me again of being out of place. I thought "am I really too small" or is it the Nigerian mentality that someone has to be old to deliberate on National issues?

Then after a while, another woman (a delegate) came and sat by my other side, a big woman obviously, she asked, "which state are you from"? "I said Borno" she asked "Maiduguri"? "I said yes". We got talking and I told her youths are very angry because there is less representation of youths at the conference, majority are elderly, she said "yes they can not be accommodated", and I was like what?! She said errrm you see they can't be accommodated, I thought "But old men and women can be accommodated"?. Before I could say anything, the arrival of the president was announced.

How many of such will one hear before the conference ends?

Speeches were made, pictures were snapped.

It was announced that they'll be a dinner later tonight but I obviously cannot make it. Couldn't drive home and drive back for the dinner, i choose saving my fuel over free meal. Fuel is still scarce remember.

For those that are interested in the money aspect: No money was given, no accommodation, no sitting allowance as people claim will drop everyday. Some said delegates will be given accommodation at transcorp and other big hotels on arrival, well no such thing happened, or probably not yet or not for tiny rats like myself.

And please if you know anyone that knows anyone who knows any thing about the conference, ask him if he knows what time will the event start tomorrow and where?

The organizers should be given the award of....... Never mind....

I am trying to eat now, yes it is late, nobody gave me food at the inauguration, and my appetite was distorted, so I am eating....

On Twitter: @Yadomah

"WHO YOU SHOULD MARRY"

I plugged in my earpiece sank in my bed, drifting slowly out of this world, thrilled beyond words from some wonderful recitation coming from my favourite reciter. Suddenly a voice came through the earpiece, a voice I wasn't familiar with (in hausa) but what struck me and kept me from changing to the next recitation was the topic he (Sheikh Albani) was talking on: "marriage and who to marry".

Marry not who you love (so- hausa) but who you adore (kauna- hausa). He said love ends when its reasons end but adoration doesn't end, it only increases with time as its reasons increase.

What could those reasons be? I wondered.

He said; people mostly fall in love, because of some physical attributes; she is fair, has a firm breast (yes he said that) and is young and attractive. While on the other hand, adoration involves liking the being and the good characters of the being; excellent in character, of good behaviour, respectful, decent.

Those reasons like beauty in which love is built on fades with time, within months or even weeks after marriage and because these reasons have faded, love fades too and because there is no more reason(s) to hold on to the marriage, the marriage will start facing problem(s).

Isn't it hard to decipher between the thing called love and adoration? Isn’t it too much for an innocent heart? I wondered. Oh well I should know if I love you because you have a handsome face or because you have a great manner.

Listening further he said; it is surprising how couples that lived 40 years together still live in peace and harmony but these days, newly wed after 40 days of marriage start facing great turmoil.

Then I remembered a quote I once read somewhere about an old couple whom were asked how they stayed together for this long and their passion still very much alive, and they said: "we got married at a time when broken things are fixed, not thrown away".

Personally: I think the way and manner marriage was conceived really matter. Some are conceived against the will of the other party. Some are aborted immediately after conception, some are miscarried after conception, and some are happily conceived at a time in need by both parties, there by blossom and nurtured into a responsible union.

The prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was heard to have said, "anyone that comes to seek for your daughters hand in marriage and after finding out that the person is of good character, conduct, behaviour and is religious then marry off your daughter to that person if not you are going to create a great havoc in the land" reported by Tirmidhi.

From the prophets statement, you will understand that, it is possible for someone to be of good conduct but is not religious and one that is of bad behaviour but is very religious.

According to the sheikh; many people make the mistake of marrying someone because they feel they are religious; seeing a sister fully covered, you automatically assume she is God fearing. This doesn't necessary qualify as someone to be wholly religious, it has to reflect in her character, manners, conduct and association with others. You see a brother fully beard, sticking out chewing stick, and you assume he is very religious hence giving out your daughter to him. What you do not know is behind the beard and the facial religious looks lies a beast.

Personally I very much agree with that point; Religion is beyond what others consider it to be, we mostly ignore people's character and conduct, we take up flesh and leave the soul, we mostly dwell and judge based on the outer wear ignoring the inner wear not knowing that a dirty underwear affects even the outer wear with stench.

Adding to the point of the learned scholar, I'll also say that, people these days are so greedy, they do not look at beauty, nor do they look at character, religion? That's never a problem all they are after is wealth, brand name, big wedding and material possession.

Looking out for a wealthy person is not entirely bad because even the prophet was quoted to have said: "A woman may be married for four qualities for her property, her rank, her beauty and her religion; so get the religious one and prosper." Bukhari and Muslim

And the rule for a man is; he must be able to support the woman.

Marrying a very wealthy man is no ticket to the gates of happiness, you will look for a hole to squeeze yourself out when you marry the wrong wealthy man and some parents with all due respect contribute in this regard.

I was having a discussion with some group of ladies the other day, one of them brought a gist of how a lady left her husband when she discovered he is gay, and the other lady was like, "that's so dumb of her, what's her business of him being a gay if he will be giving her money? as rich as he is, she left? She is mad", some among the group agreed to that, some of us disagreed.

If he is wealthy, of good conduct and character and religious and loves and adore you, we are not saying you should dump him. He is indeed best for you. But if he is not all these but just wealthy believe me, wealth can't erase all the pains that might arise from a bad marriage.

He is very wealthy but, you eat punch for breakfast, drink insult in the afternoon and slap for dinner, can his wealth help you out of these three (3) squared anguish and misery?

Other relationships I see these days, however, are built on deceit from beginning to the end. They are a lot of two faced people out there, trying hard to hide their real self behind a good personality! Understand the person you are about to marry, please don’t fall in love with the person you don’t even know, don't be clouded by things you read about love or watch on TV, all the roses and scented flowers. He can be a Romeo outside (before marriage) but a beast inside (after marriage). She can be a Juliet, sweet queen and princess outside but an unappreciative, nagging noisy peace killer inside. Get to know who s(he) is, who s(he) relates with, how s(he) relates with others because the way s(he) relates with others is exactly the way s(he) will relate with you and the people close to your heart.

She nags too much before marriage? Marriage is not a nagging therapy she will continue after it. You don't like the way and manner she talks in public, you always correct her but she doesn't want to be corrected and you seriously like her? Learn to deal with it after marrying her then. She mingles with bad friends and tells you she can't leave them for you? Are you ready to have those bad friends visit your home after marriage? She is the busy type and you know it, but you want her to give you all the time after marriage? You obviously just want to create trouble after marriage. Stay in your lane, be realistic and reasonable.

He doesn't respect his elders? He won't respect your parents; he keeps late night hanging out with bad company? He will continue doing that after marriage, he gambles a lot? He will gamble you some day in exchange for what he wants. He doesn't respect other women but he says he respect you? You will soon join the ranks of other women, it’s just a matter of time. His parents want him to marry because they want him to stop all the above listed? What he needs is a rehab not a spouse.

Twitter: @Yadomah

TRAVAILS OF A FEMALE CHILD REARER ....

"Jamila delivered a baby girl few days back, have you heard'?

My jaw immediately dropped, a vague feeling flushed my entire system, a mixture of surprise, disbelief, disappointment, and then belief.

Jamila is our former Mai-Guards daughter, they live in the Boys Quarters of one of our flats, she is a girl of about seventeen who is on my sisters payroll for helping around the house with some chores since she is otherwise unemployed. I know Jamila well, though I never had a serious conversation with her because she's seems to be the kind of person that is rather shy but obviously corny.

Some months ago when I was away from home, chatting with my sister, I enquired about her and her siblings, my sister told me that she had eloped with her boyfriend. I was totally shocked, I had never envisaged in my wildest imagination she would do such a thing, she was somewhat timid. Then I learnt she returned some months later. Her dad, who was obviously enraged, grounded her.

Since I came back home I haven't seen her.

What I find most intriguing is that her father (our former mai-guard) apparently did not know that his daughter was pregnant until the day of her delivery. He came home and was bewildered, seeing a lady he knew to be a midwife frantically entering and exiting his daughters room, he peeped into the room and saw his daughter 'pushing' and just then the baby dropped! This came to him as a total shocker. Oh well that was to be expected because he didn't know his daughter was pregnant for nine months; ''this is the girl I grounded, how did the baby enter"? He must have wondered.

The enraged man went and grabbed a knife and swore he'd cut the baby into pieces - He must have meant it because he is known to have problems with anger management. I laughed at the foolishness of the man, why cut a baby to pieces? An innocent child oblivious of the situation in which she was conceived, an innocent child that just arrived this troublesome world. Did he not hear the foolishness in his voice?

This is a man that had been setting up expensive bride prices for his daughters (Jamila Inclusive) when suitors came willing to marry them, he wouldnt give out his daughters except to the rich, the ones that could afford the prices he set, now that one of his daughters set out and got herself pregnant and now he threatens to cut the baby? This is a daughter he had high hopes for, but rather than bringing him wealth, she shattered the dream he had been desperately clinging to. I guess this was the main worry and cause of aggravation.

There are many supposed fathers who only bring children into the world but do not involve themselves in grooming them, though I can't blame it entirely on grooming, because even some well-groomed children bring embarrassment to their families. However, this father showed clear signs of irresponsibility; how is it possible for your daughter to carry a child for nine months without you having the slightest idea?

These are often the kind of parents that see their children as liabilities, as burdens. The children greet them in the morning, they answer with a mumble without even looking at the child, till the following morning, to mumble another reply. They do not talk to them, neither to they care what is going on with them, they do not listen to them and they do not educate them - you advise them about educating their children, and they see you as an agent of Lucifer, the one whom the devil has sent to come and tell them to send their children to his chamber. School to them is where children get corrupted and learn how to get screwed - but this one got screwed anyway. They see schools as the devils workshop; as such their children stay at home, wasting and waiting to be disposed to the right, rich man.

Those supposed fathers also treat their wives no better, like pieces of garbage but at night the wife has to know where his bed is and in the morning she is nothing but a piece of garbage again, like the children she bears for him. They do not really matter until they become of age, and they are ripe for marriage, because they are not educated the only pursuit and career goal is to marry them off to a wealthy man that can foot their bills. The greedy man sets prices and targets for suitors that scare them away, and their over ripe daughters keep going out to be sampled and come back home with presents that only become apparent after nine months.

It very much is a pity that this is almost like a norm in this part of the world. Parents see their children as liabilities and enlightening such parents is harder than going through the proverbial eye of a needle. These are people who mix religion with life and this is where they lose, this attitude has got nothing to do with religion and is completely opposite to what religion preaches, it is a mockery of religion.

What they need is serious enlightenment, and prayers. I doubt anybody has put these as prayer points: "God deliver hostile parents", "God give blockheaded parents the wisdom to educate their children" but unfortunately, prayer won't solve it all, we need action.

This attitude of not educating children is like an infection that spreads like a wildfire. The parents are not educated, the children are not educated, the children of the children will not be and the accidental bastards delivered of those uneducated children will not be and so the chain goes and on. Have you paused to consider what will happen in the next twenty years? A world with plenty illiterates means a world with people that do not know their left talk more of their right and this will leave us with a serious problem, a tragedy, a menace.

To prevent this we need a serious overhaul of the educational system - compulsory education. The girl child MUST be educated; the male child MUST be educated. If it pleases you, marry off your daughter, but she MUST be educated, she must go to school. All states in the north must take up this challenge because this is where the whole thing is endemic. Even if we cannot educate all at least at the end of the day we will have a large number of wise people around and by that even those that didn't get to educate their children can be enlightened by those educated but as it is now, we have a lot of both uneducated and unwise people supporting the cause of each other.

A helpless mother.......

She was 30 when I came into the world.

I was handed over to her unclothed, crying and kicking but when she picked me up and cuddled me in her warm, powerful arms I had to accept her, and love her.

I got clothed with clothes from her closet and fed with food from her land; I drank water from her well and lived in peace and tranquillity. As a little child growing up I didn't know what she was going through, she looked healthy and strong with no sign of worries.

I learnt with her, watched over by her; she was supportive, she was productive, she was warm, she was easy to live with; she was great. I grew up peacefully with her...

But as I grew up and became a little older, I noticed she had changed drastically, she became twice as old as her true age, she looked very different from her other friends and age mates around the world.

Now, she has been completely changed by burns and smoke. She looks devastated and frustrated by the pain and suffering some of her children cause to her other children, most of her houses burnt, she is financially down and hardly can see any more; she is crippled - on a wheel chair with aides that lead her way, her own children, her own blood, but they poke, push and kick her recklessly, making her stumble and fall from the wheelchair with neither remorse nor sympathy. With bruises and scars all over her, her favourite white dress with green patches always stained with blood.

Who does that to a mother?

While some of her younger children stand at a distance watching the pain their elder ones cause to their mother with anger. Screaming and shouting, they tell their neighbours what is happening; using local and modern media to convey their anger and grief. Their neighbours look on with astonishment and surprise. Some of her children used to feel comfortable sitting on top of their mother’s wonderful fence but even that has been bulldozed from its foundation.

Some of her children have tried to rescue her from the hands of those that maltreat her but they are bullied and beaten as well, they don't have the arms and armoury neither do they have the wealth the older children have, they are not as rich in material as they are in sympathy for their mother - a mother that nurtured them, a mother through whose wealth the elders became rich, a mother kind enough to give too much to those who would later destroy her, and less to those who would have helped her. She hasn’t been biased; she has been overpowered. They stand like thick walls between a mother and her other children...

Mother I can't blame you for you were everything any child would want to have.

Just like when I was handed to you all those years ago, I am kicking and screaming now. How I wish you would come around again as you did the first time, to take me in your powerful now mark -covered arms, but you are obviously sick and devastated, needing urgent help for your paralysed and hungry soul.

On the 1st of october when you turned 53 the mere look on your face made me cry, the bruises and scars looked fresh and new, the blood stains pure red, the smoke stains pronounced, you looked tense and unhappy, silently wishing for something better.

O pretty old woman of age! were that you'd look strong, healthy, peaceful and full of life. Sitting with all your children in a green fresh garden, everyone looking happy and cheerful on your birthday.

You will be a  proud  mother with  supportive children. The rich supporting the poor, the old looking after the young. None harming or inflicting pain on the other. No disparity, no bullying.

This has always been your dream, I wish and pray it will come to pass soon.

On Twitter @Yadomah