Sunday, April 7, 2013 is no doubt the saddest day of my life for on this day I lost a great pillar in my Life. That day came with a cocktail of bad emotions. I felt like I was going insane, I felt incomplete. I kept hoping that I will awake from the Horrible Nightmare I was having in Broad daylight. The Nightmare has not gone away and my dad (Alhaji (Dr) Zannah Bukar Umaru Mandara) is still dead.
My father was not just a ''dad'' he was much more than a ''dad''. He was a father, an uncle, a grandfather, a guardian, a teacher, in fact he was everything I did not have. It is unbelievable that my Father is now being addressed with the word ''was''. I simply can't bring myself to believe that my dad, my hero, my mentor is no more. I can’t believe that he is gone, that I won't see him again for as long as I live (a very painful reality). But in total submission to the will of Allah, I will try my best.
My Fathers guiding principles were hinged on the importance of RESPECT, SINCERITY, UPRIGHTNESS, DECENCY, NEATNESS, UNITY, MORALITY, KNOWLEDGE, HONESTY, INTEGRITY, and HUMILITY. I hope to God that I am able to imbibe these principles in my life and share them with the world around me. I can still hear my Father echo these words to me "Respect for young and old, rich and poor, for we are all human beings and equal”, "be humble", "be a cheerful giver", "be of good attitude", "be knowledgeable no matter what", "be united", ''be neat" "be decent''.
Dad taught us how to greet and relate with our elders and people in general. I remember how Dad in a bid to instil respect and discipline in us his Kids, insisted we sit in ascending to descending order or descending to ascending order (according to age), whenever we are having family meetings. My Dad is a Man that does informal things in a formal way. He taught us how to pen down and keep record of each and every important event, he was someone who believed that anything worth listening to is worth recording.
My dad made us understand that life is not a bed of roses. He will always say to us "It may be us today and someone else tomorrow". He particularly warned us his kids on the repercussion of being loose natured; ''the moment you become loose that very moment you lose your worth. Dad would tell us things that sometimes made us feel embarrassed. I remember how Dad would monitor our movement closely. He would interrogate us on where we are intending to go to? When we will be back home? Who we are going out with? We always thought he was being strict, but I later realized that he did all that out of his deep affection for us all. Dad strongly believed that vacationing was very necessary in the Cycle of Life. He always advocated on the need for a deserved rest and a change of environment once in a while. During weekends or holidays, dad will always find time to take us out on site seeing and shopping, and the most interesting part was that he always insisted that he drives us. Whenever my Father travelled out within or outside the country, gifts from cloths to perfume, wrist watches, jewellery, shoes etc. flowed freely. We always looked forward to those trips. Ohh he has travelled, travelled never to return.
Dad always loved bringing his family together as often as he could manage, to the extent that his kids who were married within the state were sent letters seeking their spouse’s permission to allow their wives grace his invitation for a family dinner/meeting. Family dinners were always fun because there was always a lot to eat and drink. I remember the banter, jokes, and laughter with nostalgia. After having our feel we always moved to the section of the house my Father called the 'family parlour. Here my Dad will give us lengthy lectures about life. We always enjoyed his lectures because there’s always something new to learn. When Dad says: that's about all in conclusion, some of us will mutter, ‘’he is opening a new chapter’’ and we were always right. When he is finally done he will gather us all and bless us with prayers. Then the most interesting part of it all was when he hands us all fat envelopes.
My Father, Baba as we fondly called him loves education and loved to push his children as well as children of others academically. Our Father saw to it that his children have gone far in terms of western and islamic education before his demise. For females he almost made it a principle that you have to acquire Islamic knowledge, complete your degree and NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) before you are discharged to your husbands house, which he has succeeded. Baba had so much interest in educating the female child. He encouraged us to push further academically because he strongly believed that a degree is just like a foundation or starting point, therefore we could go as far as we wanted to. He will always say ''If you are not knowledgeable, you have nothing to offer in life''. If you wanted money from my dad, go to him with a list of books or something you want to enrol in that’s relative to academics, and he will receive you with open arms. He always advised his female children to never give up their dreams because they were women. He always said “ Women are like the spoon that are used to stir things in the world''.
Baba always preach to us about the importance of unity. On family unity, one of my favorite quotes of his is ''Walk together, Run together, sit together, and escape together''. On national unity he always said: whether you are Yoruba, Igbo, or Hausa we are all ONE.
Dad was a giver. He always put the needs of others before ours. We always wondered why he always did that, but later I realized our needs were mostly luxury while others were in dire need of his help. My Father felt he owed a lot to his country and people in general. He was a man who would lose sleep if he didn't help the needy. My father gave free Islamic and western education to the less privileged children in Borno. He even went as far as hiring Arab tutors from Egypt to tutor less privileged children Arabic and Qur'an. Baba provided for the Hungry, the Homeless, and the Unemployed. He was a friend of the media, he was a voice to the voiceless. This was a man who received uncountable awards - I always wondered how a single man could have received so much awards.
My Father loved us all and never gave us cause to worry. Baba fought gallantly and made sure his children never got wind of how sick he was till his last breath. I can never ever pay you back dad, for all you have done for me, for all you have taught me, I know this, but I will always pray for you till the day I take my last breath. I will miss you dearly dad. Our home is now a house that feels so empty without you. You were like a shade that stood tall and strong. You were like a sanctuary we all ran to when beaten by the sun or rain. Where will we run to now that you are no more dad?
I am your only female child whom you weren't opportune to witness her wedding, I am saddened by this fact but Allah knows best. In the First week of March I turned 23, first week of April you left this world. I feel it's your way of saying my last child my time is up, it is time I leave this world, you are old enough to know right and wrong, be good, be true, be decent be you. Respect all, be humble. These are what I taught you, I know you won't disappoint me. I promise you my dad, my hero, my mentor I won't disappoint you, with Allah's guidance and your prayers of blessing to us when you were alive, I will do my utmost best and hold the fort. Rest in Jannatul firdaus my beloved dad till we meet again in the shade that surpasses all shades I Love You Dad.
